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Monday, July 03, 2006


A fortnight ago I came back from Israel and Jordan whence I had wandered to contemplate the changeable nature of most things and the unchanging nature of one thing. To my modest surprise the trip has turned me into a teeny weenie bit of a Zionist. The argument goes like this. The Jews were kicked out of the Holy Land by the Romans unfairly from a this-worldly perspective but really because God was punishing them for having rejected the Messiah. They were left to wander the earth for 1900 years and everyone picked on them because they were different and consoled themselves that this was ok (which it wasn't) because they had rejected the Messiah. Other people moved in. The new inhabitants of the Holy Land converted to Christianity along with the rest of the Roman Empire, apart from the Jews. Then the Persians invaded and trashed the place but the Romans rallied and roundly defeated the Persians. Then an Arab bloke founded a new religion where everyone has to invade the entire world and subject it to his laws and to the government of his successor the Caliph. The Muslims invaded and ethnically cleansed the entire southern Mediterranean forcing everyone else to accept Islam or death or taxes. The Christians were extremely annoyed but too weak (as a result of the Germans having messed up Western Europe) to do anything about it. The Emperor managed to hold on to Asia Minor and stop the Muslims getting Constantinople. The Franks (who were clearing up after the other Germans) managed to stop the Muslims getting any further than the Loire and eventually pushed them back into Spain. The Muslims got nasty(er) and trashed the Holy Sepulchre and nearly captured Constantinople. The Emperor (now a schismatic) got worried and asked the Pope if he could send any of the Franks to deal with the Muslims. The Pope explained to the Franks that if they went and attacked the Muslims and got back Jerusalem he would arrange for the temporal punishment to be waved for all the years them had spent attacking each other and everyone else. This being quite a good deal lots of Franks went off to the Holy Land and behaved rather badly but did manage to get Jerusalem back off the Muslims. Bad organisation and not enough permanent migration meant that after slightly less than a century we had lost it again and eventually the Franks were driven out of the Holy Land again. Then the Muslims invaded Constantinople and the rest of the Balkans and repeatedly tried to invade the rest of Europe but couldn’t get past Vienna. In the meantime they were finally kicked out of Spain and the Emperor started trying to drive them out of North West Africa but didn’t get far because he was distracted by a virulent new heresy invented by the Germans called Protestantism. Then the Poles drove the Muslims from the walls of Vienna and the Austrians and the Russians began pushing them back bit by bit until they only had Constantinople left. As a result of the virulent new heresy Europe was slowly becoming godless. In the meantime the Europeans had conquered the entire world apart from some of the Muslim bits and China and Japan. Then the Austrians and the Russians got into a war with each other and everyone else joined in and millions of people died and Britain conquered Jerusalem and Constantinople and instead of giving it back to the Greeks we stupidly gave it back to the Turks and all the remaining Christians and Greeks in Asia Minor and Constantinople were ethnically cleansed. We said the Jew could come back to the Holy Land and so they did and they looked after things a lot better than the Muslims who started getting annoyed and rebelling against us so we tried to stop too many Jews coming and then the Germans elected a lunatic as their ruler who hated the Jews for no particular reason and imagined all sorts grudges against them. He started invading all the countries around Germany and we had to fight another massive war. We wouldn’t let anymore Jews into the Holy Land and turned back boatloads of them and then they and millions of others besides were murdered by the Germans. We beat the Germans. And it bankrupted us. We couldn’t afford to look after the Holy Land, the Muslims refused to share it with the Jews. We had to go. In was 1948. The Jews declared the state of Israel. The Muslims expelled all the Jews from their lands. Many of the Muslims fled Israel and some were expelled by the Jews. About the same number of Jews was expelled from Muslim lands as Muslims fled Israel. All the Muslim countries attacked the Jews. The Jews won. The Muslims prepared to attack them again so the Jews attacked first and they conquered Jerusalem and the whole of the Holy Land. The Muslims attacked again and the Jews won again. The Jews are invincible. The Jews have offered the Muslims most of what they conquered in the second war back but not Jerusalem. The Muslims won't take it. They want all of what they have lost since 1948 back including Jerusalem and they want all of those who fled or were expelled to be allowed back plus their descendents. This would destroy the state of Israel because there would be more Muslims in it than Jews. Some of the Muslims say they want to wipe Israel off the face of the earth. The Muslims left in the Holy Land live in areas occupied by the Jews with no state. They live in uncomfortable overcrowded conditions with no resources. The Jews are God's chosen people. Their promises have been suspended until they recognise the Messiah but one day they will recognise the Messiah and then all the promises come back on line. The Muslims are the followers of a false prophet who have oppressed the Christians for a thousand years and destroyed some Christian nations for ever. We also owe the Jews for crapping on them for centuries and not saving them from the Germans. We must not allow the Muslims to wipe Israel off the face of the earth. We must not let them get Jerusalem back. There is nothing the Israelis can do because the Muslims won't accept a deal that falls short of the destruction of Israel and/or the surrender of Jerusalem. If two sides refuse to do a deal there has to be a war and the winner gets to decide. That is what has happened. The Jews have offered as much as they can be reasonably expected to offer and they have been turned down.